is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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