and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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