My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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