I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dignity is for republicans.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
