The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
