I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
