When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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