I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize