Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
