even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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