btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
