Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Too much gin, very little bucket
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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