Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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