HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
