I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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