Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You don't make any sense
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