I heard we made out
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
