Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
