I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
