Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
