I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
