So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
