The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
