i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
