so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
