Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
