she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
