Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize