I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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