Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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