is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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