If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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