No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
