Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
