Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
