that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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