When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
