he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This baby is an asshole
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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