I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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