Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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