hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
