sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
