carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
