my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
