If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So vagazzling was a success
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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