there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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