pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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