So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
