i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
