So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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