If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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