While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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