i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We need to get me chipped asap
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
