so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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