She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And then my night got REAL pukey
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
