i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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