Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
