She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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