when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He literally asked permission to hit on me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
