letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A bitchslap is in order.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
