I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize