Yo dont text me then not text me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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