You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
